Doris’ Life Lessons

Been catching a couple of movies lately and each movie always have one or two messages to take home (if you are sensitive enough to pick up).

Two of them just hit me because they present the same message - ‘You have a choice’.

(They are from the movie - ‘Spider Man 3′ and ‘Fantastic 4 - The Rise of the Silver Surfer’.)

I thought about this sentence and I found myself saying, "…that’s what people always say but sometimes you really don’t have a choice…"

Then something happened that made me see that we indeed have a choice…

I was supposed to give a technical presentation at a scientific workshop on Wednesday morning. It was to be a mini conference between Singapore and Taiwan delegates. I was also assigned to be part of the organising committee to be in charge of fetching them from the airport. Hence, was quite busy and by Tuesday night, I’m still revising my powerpoint and I wonder why I always leave things to the last minute. Worse still, I don’t have a script yet. But being a Toastmaster, I really cannot allow myself to go out and deliver a lousy speech. At least, certain minimum standards must be reached.

I woke up at 3am on Wednesday morning to write my script and run through my powerpoint. And I found myself asking, "Why did I put myself in this situation… but I have no choice… NO! I have a choice. I can choose to go back to sleep or rehearse my speech… I just have to be responsible for all consequences that comes with my choice. Sleep and take responsible of a lousy speech made OR sacrifice sleep to at least deliver a decent speech."

True. Many times we think we don’t have a choice and are forced to make that one choice that seems to be present then. Yet, if we think about it, we do have a choice. We just have to be responsible for all consequences that come with the choice made. Sometimes, we leave ourselves with only one option because we refuse to take responsibility of the consequences that come with other choices made.

Remember, you do have a choice! You just have to be responsible for it.

Often, we struggle to find the reason (purpose) for doing whatever we are doing now and it is this very thing (purpose) that’s going to determine how far and how fast we will go.

Got this article from a friend sometime last week and thought of sharing it with you. Enjoy! ^_^

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Creating your Mission by Tony Alessandra

To get anything significant accomplished, you must see the need, as well as work hard, possess energy, and demonstrate drive. But to truly influence others, you also need a mission.

   
It isn’t enough just to come up with a "mission statement" that merely sounds good or looks sharp on paper or in an annual report - though that’s a start. Instead, to be effective, your mission has got to come from your heart. It’s got to grow out of a sense of what’s important in your life and in your world. The deeper your passion for the mission, the more it will attract others.

      
The most effective missions involve helping others. Often it’s
acquiring that mission that catapults people into a leadership role that puts them in a position to exercise personal power.

      
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak didn’t start up Apple Computer just to make money or to make people more efficient; their mission was to develop a "user-friendly" machine that would revolutionize people’s lives. Their sense of purpose propelled them to perform brilliantly. And, characteristically, when they later sought to attract John Sculley, widely respected as a marvelous marketer, they didn’t emphasize money or prestige, both of which he already had in abundance as Pepsi’s president and CEO.

      
Instead, according to Sculley’s autobiography, Jobs and Sculley were walking near Sculley’s home when Jobs asked, "So, what do you want to do, John? Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life, or do you want a chance to change the world?" Sculley, faced with that kind of challenge and that kind of vision, knew what he had to do. He acquired a new mission and joined Apple.

Got an email from a friend yesterday who was complaining about the tons of upsetting stuffs that had been happening for the past few days, which (as a result) caused distraction, thus an inability to deliver the things that was promised beforehand.

The email ended with "It never rains. It pours!"

I have always believe that everything happens for a reason. Hence, with a stroke of inspiration, I replied explaining why "It never rains. It pours!"

Here’s my reply -

Sometime last week, I had the honour to help in evaluating 6 students from Innova JC in a Speech contest. Other than having the opportunity to sharpen my mind, not to mention about polishing my evaluation skills, I actually learnt from the stories that these JC students have to tell. Was definitely impressed by the messages that each wanted to bring across and I started to wonder whether I ever thought about such stuffs during my JC days… haha… my brain was probably stuffed with only Mechanics, Statistics, Vectors, Newton’s Laws, Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility etc during my TJC days… ^_^

Here’s some of their stories -

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One student started his speech by throwing a ball at the audience and asking the audience to throw it back at him.

His msg - "Your life throws back at you what you throw at it"

*** 

Another student started by asking a question - "Have you ever feel like bursting out and cry?"

And he went on to mention about how when we were a kid, we fell, cried and then picked ourselves up but when we grew up to be an adult, sometimes we fell, we resist crying even though we are in pain. Yet, by keeping everything to ourselves, we held back and started to doubt whether we will ever picked ourselves up again.

His msg - "It’s ok to burst out and cry… even if you are an adult"

***

A 3rd student started with asking the audience, "How many of you are mixed-blood?"

He went on to talk about how mixed-bloods or people of another skin colour may invite discrimination from the common majority.

His msg - "Whoever you are, stand upright and be proud of yourself"

***

The fourth student started with a personal story on how her friends tried to be nice by praising her for a bad job done instead of telling her the truth.

She continued with a Shakespeare’s quote, "The world is a stage, we are all actors." Should we hide behind masks and be actors or should we just tell our friends the truth, even though truth may hurt?

She ended, "Do you want your friends to be honest or just kind? You decide!"

***

It had indeed been an afternoon full of lessons to be learnt.

I was at a talk by Dr Mary Tan (Chen Ming Li) at AIA Career Day yesterday afternoon. Was invited by a friend who’s an AIA manager. Thought I’ll just drop by to have a look. ^_^

Here’s some stuffs I learnt from her talk …

The 3 keys to success -

1. Predictability - the ability to predict the market

2. Timely - to strike at the correct time

3. Opportunity - to grab any when it presents itself

Dr Tan’s take was that we cannot control #1 and #2, but we can definitely control #3 and it will follow us through as long as we keep to it.

The 3 masteries in life - Be a

1. Money Master - Control your input and output of money

2. Time Master - To manage our time efficiently

3. Emotion Master - To control our emotions and not let others control our emotions. Do not allow others to label us as who we are by their frivolous remarks. We know ourselves best.

Finally, she ended with a quote -

"I realised it was no use looking back. I decided to look forward and learn to do those things that I dislike doing until I love them".

Of course, her context was in selling insurances, but I thought that I can grab some of them and better apply them to my life.

Before I left, my friend leave me with one more lesson -

"Never let negativities and nags of others suck you dry of your energy. Mingle with positive people and you will find yourself getting your energy back."

Indeed, I have felt drained and de-energised for the past few months. Guess it’s time I refill my positive energy tank. ^_^

My maternal grandma passed away last week. Age: 86. It came unexpectedly yet expectedly.

Unexpectedly because there was no signs of her departing prior to that. She wasn’t sick or hospitalised.

Expectedly because of her decrepit age.

It’s inevitable that everyone will die eventually. Yet, I wonder why when the time comes, it will still flood those around with tears. We will still feel sad. Maybe, we know that this time, it will be a permanent departure and regrets will always accompany departure.

We have to get use to not having her around anymore. We must accept the truth that she has departed permanently.

Life must still go on and we have to move on.