Doris’ Life Lessons

Went East Coast Park to cycle with my friends this afternoon and was amazed that it seems like a long time that I’ve gone there! Haha… Singaporeans do take these recreation centers for granted.

Anyway, it was a totally new experience - sorta like a breath of fresh air from nature. Maybe I’m struck in my lab and in front of my PC for a long, long time.

Hmmm… we chilled out at MacDonald’s first, then rent-a-bike, then cycle, then stop at a jetty to view the sea, then one of us decided to dig her toes into the sand and let the waves wash it away. Though cladded in my pink, rubber slippers, I still decided to stand afar and watch them play. Then we cycle some more, race with each other, stop for rest and ice-cream and finally head back.

It wasn’t a long and adventurous ride, yet simplicity seems to replace everything this time. With the hectic schedules and urban lifestyle, simplicity can be simply sweet!

A group of frogs were hopping contentedly through the woods, going about their froggy business, when two of them fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the pit to see what could be done to help their companions. When they saw how deep the pit was, they agreed that it was hopeless and told the two frogs in the pit that they should prepare themselves for their fate, because they were as good as dead.

Unwilling to accept this terrible fate, the two frogs began to jump with all of their might. Some of the frogs shouted into the pit that it was hopeless, and that the two frogs wouldn’t be in that situation if they had been more careful, more obedient to the froggy rules, and more responsible. The other frogs continued sorrowfully shouting that they should save their energy and give up, since they were already as good as dead.

The two frogs continued jumping with all their might, and after several hours of this, were quite weary. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to the calls of his fellow frogs. Exhausted, he quietly resolved himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit, and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could, although his body was wracked with pain and he was quite exhausted. Once again, his companions began yelling for him to accept his fate, stop the pain and just die. The weary frog jumped harder and harder and, wonder of wonders, finally leaped so high that he sprang from the pit.

Amazed, the other frogs celebrated his freedom and then gathering around him asked, "Why did you continue jumping when we told you it was impossible?"

The astonished frog explained to them that he was deaf, and as he saw their gestures and shouting, he thought they were cheering him on. What he had perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and to succeed against all odds.

This simple story contains a powerful lesson. The book of Proverbs says, "There is death and life in the power of the tongue". Your encouraging words can lift someone up and help them make it through the day. Your destructive words can cause deep wounds; they may be the weapons that destroy someone’s desire to continue trying - or even their life. Your destructive, careless word can diminish someone in the eyes of others, destroy their influence and have a lasting impact on the way others respond to them. Be careful what you say.

Speak life to (and about) those who cross your path. There is enormous power in words. If you have words of kindness, praise or encouragement - speak them now to, and about, others. Listen to your heart and respond. Someone, somewhere, is waiting for your words…

Time, such a precious word.
It gives us the gift of moments.
Moments so beautiful that change our lives forever.
But those moments turn into memories that can never be recaptured.
We are left with footprints in our minds and in our hearts.
Longing to recapture time, hoping it will last forever.

To be left with the reality of the passing of time;
So precious and so fleeting.

We can’t bring it back or relive.
Only be grateful that it happened.
So cherish every moment, never taking anything for granted,
Because some day, that will be the moment you’ll want to relive.

Love with all your heart.
Let your loved ones know how much you care.
Smile even when you want to cry.
Live life to the fullest,
Because you never know when your time will pass with the wind.

I guess there’s 2 parts to one’s past - one part that you wanted to hold on to and another part that you wanted to eliminate forever.

There are bound to be happiness and unhappiness from the past.

I hope we can all relish the good memories and let go of the bad ones. Some things are best removed from the memory lane forever so please stop haunting me on that.

Most importantly, look ahead and move on.

The past is already history, the present is for action and the future is to be created.

October 2007 has started and looking back, I wonder how I survived Sept 2007. That had been a month of extremes and anyhow, I’m glad I survived it and HEY! I’m still alive… hahaha ^_^

(Sometimes you will be amazed by how much stuffs one can take on)

One of the major milestones was to submit my PhD thesis officially at end of Sept 07. Though they are still more things to come (the oral defence etc…), more ups and downs, I have decided to look forward and move forward. Take things as they come.

The next Chapter of my life will focus on my career. And thinking forward, I can’t help but feel a tint of excitement. Maybe it’s a sense of being freed. At least, I’m not totally bound by the thesis now and will be more financially stable soon.

Right now, having submitted my thesis and with some free time at hand, I suddenly felt extremely BORED and ‘ENG’… YES! I’m BORED! Probably because the past few years have been totally goal-driven, hectic, if not nerve-wrecking. And in the recent few months, things become even more over-whelming and tense.

Nonetheless, I guess other than catching up with my sleep (Yes! I have been amazed by how much I can sleep these days actually), it’s time I start doing things that I’ve been pushing aside forever, like packing my room, clearing out from my office cubicle, clearing my emails and smses, catching up with friends, making tiramisu, start doing a bit of exercises… hmm… Maybe this is the period I can let things slow down for a while before I embark on the next stretch of journey.

I’m into poems these days… hahaha…

Anyway, some nights back, I heard someone recite this poem and I uncontrollably wanted to recite it with emotions and vocal variety. Poems can be so beautifully written sometimes…

This poem ‘IF’ by Rudyard Kipling talks about what it takes to be a real MAN -

to be steadfast in what you believe in,

to be firm in your integrity,

not to be wavered by circumstances and people around you,

not to be control by triumph and disaster,

stay true to yourself and be humble.

Finally, "Hold on" when the whole world are against you.

I hope it inspires you as much as it did to me.   

Enjoy!

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IF by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man my son!

Gosh… seems like a long time back since I last blog.. er, not sure how long it’s been actually.

Reason being, I’ve been caught in a series of events. Everything (from people management to paper and machine management) came crashing down until I wonder if I can take it anymore. Never mind, just take things step by step. Of course, need to be discipline also, so I push all my social activities to October *sorry, friends =p*

And I’m happy to say that everything more or less in control now. *keep my fingers crossed*

Majority of the stuffs settled.

I guess sometimes when you weathered through a storm, you suddenly realise you have grown much stronger and tougher and you are happy with that personal growth. It has been quite a stretch out of my comfort zone recently and looking back, I guess I’m glad it happens, otherwise I wouldn’t know that I’m capable of so many things and I guess I’m clearer in my direction now. And it’s often in these moments of darkness that one starts to appreciate those around them more. Thanks to those who have been so understanding and supportive during this period and to those who rise to help in my most dire situations. I really appreciate that.

Some stuffs still in process… let’s hope it’s settled well. When the time’s ripe, I’ll let you know. Wish me luck!

Been bogged down by a lot of stuffs recently again! Hence, haven’t have much time to blog. Anyway, a lot of stuffs have occurred recently and some are still in transition. One of the things I’m involved in is the running of an 8-week public speaking crash course to a group of 16 participants.

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Last night was the 3rd session Speechcraft Workshop (an 8-week public speaking crash course) conducted by my Toastmasters Club (NUS Alumni).

What really touched me a lot for this round of Speechcrafters is that majority are very committed to improve their public speaking skills. I notice that they really took a lot of time and effort to prepare for each session and I really appreciate all that hard work.

You see, public speaking is a skill that people often neglect. And even when some see the importance in honing this skill, they do not see the need to put in effort since they have paid for the course. They expect the trainers to ‘change’ them instead of themselves putting in the effort to ‘change’.

Often, I have seen new members doing unprepared prepared speeches. The time spent to prepare a speech could be just a bus-ride to the meeting place. Or they could come up the stage and do an impromptu ice-breaker speech which was obviously unprepared.

I believe very much in putting in effort to prepare prior to the speech - to script the speech and rehearse adequately before delivering it. I guess, nowadays, I did not meet many who prepare adequately before their speech. Hence, I definitely appreciate their sincerity when I see effort in a speech. ^_^

Some months back, I read an article titled ‘Only the Tough need apply’.

It talks about how a man recruit people by making demands on them instead of spoonfeeding their sense of entitlement and materialism. The main message is,

"Do not expect people to train you or make you grow. Training and growing depend on yourself, not other people. And it’s only when the going gets tough that more people will come forward and face the challenge."

One quote in the article caught my eye, "Life is not a fashion show." Took me a while to understand what it means thanks to a friend’s explanation. It means that we do not do things to show off to others. Personal growth and excellent depend on oneself, not with the intention of impressing people.

I thought the message was very appropriate for NUS Alumni Toastmasters Club’s Presidential Address and I use the story to relate it to public speaking. Thankfully, it went through smoothly and the audience got inspired. Quite a power-packed address and I guess in the midst of it, I too get inspired by my message.

Let me share a glimpse of it with you ^_^ -

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Public Speaking is not a fashion show.

We do not grow to show off to others.

We do not give speeches to get Distinguished Club Program award.

Neither do we let you move on to the next level of public speaking because we wanted that Distinguished Club Program point.

We focus on personal growth.

The experience of each meeting is a reward in itself.

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Come by choice.

You know what you want and need to learn.

The years of being an anxious and good child are over.

Somemore, the food is mediocre, the chairs are uncomfortable and the location, inconvenient.

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